Hogwarts goes Gangsturrr
by Ms-Dcosta
Summary: The characters from HP start acting like REAL teenagers when they reach their sixth year at Hogwarts. I promise you I will try my best to make this story HILAROUS.
1. Harry's Diriah problem

Disclaimer: I do not own or am in any way affiliated with the original characters from the HP series. They   
  
completely and exclusively belong to the original author Ms.J.K. Rowling.  
  
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Intro: This story may SEEM like it's going no where... but it IS. I think.   
  
~*New Characters*~  
  
*Tanya- myself  
  
*Matilda- my best friend  
  
*Jonathan- the hottest guy on earth  
  
*Colin Farrell- yeah, the movie star  
  
*Jessica- my funny friend  
  
*Ivey- this really ugly guy  
  
*Abby- Ivey's homosexual boyfriend  
  
*there might be more characters walking in and out of the story  
  
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~*Chapter 1~*  
  
Harry awoke with a start. His face was pale and he needed to go there.. He knew where he had to be, it was his destiny.  
  
"What is it Harry?", Ron exclaime, "What's wrong? Where are you going?"  
  
"I must go Ron, the time has come", said Harry fearfully.  
  
Ron covered his face in his hands. "But Harry! There are so many people here, how do you think they will deal with it once   
  
they find out what you've done? I mean, it is quite a horrible thing! And last time Neville almost passed out!"  
  
"Nevertheless, I must go"  
  
"Fine then Harry, If it is so important to you", Ron said, while obviously so close to tears, "Just dont forget to flush".  
  
"I know, I know", said Harry,"but I really have to go now, my diariah is realy kicking in. oooo, I cant hold it any longer,   
  
Neville is just going to have to suffer the consequences, it's not my fault there's no Pepto Bismol in this entire danm  
  
castle!"  
  
"Yeah, he's going to have to suffer the consequences all right,.. and the HORRIBLE HORRIBLE smell!".  
  
  
  
  
  
So Harry did his .. thing. And then Ron and Harry hurried down to the breakfast table to get some breakfast before   
  
going into Hogsmead with the rest of the school. When they reached the Gryffindor table they saw all the usual people sitting  
  
there, including a few of the Syltherine kids.   
  
"Wazzzzup ya'll", Harry and Ron yelled in unison as they made their way over to the Slytherines at they're table.  
  
"Nothin much brederienz", said Tanya, a sixth year Slytherin girl,"we're just so hyped up about the rave down at Hogsmead   
  
tonigh. You guys are going right?"  
  
"For sure!" said Harry, winking at Ron, "Guess who's gonna get LAID tonight?", he said winking at Jessica(a Ravenclaw   
  
sixth year) this time.  
  
"In your dreams bro", said Jessica with a mischevous smile on her face.  
  
"HURRY STUDENTS! IF YOU WANT TO GO INTO HOGSMEAD EARLY, YOU HAD BETTER FINISH YOUR BREAKFAST", said Professor McGonagal,  
  
"OH, BY THE WAY, ALL SIXTH AND SEVENT YEARS WILL NEED TO TAKE THEIR ID'S WITH THEM IN ORDER TO GET INTO THE CLUB WHERE  
  
THE RAVE IS BEING HELD, NO EXCEPTIONS!"  
  
  
  
Harry and Ron immediately sat down to breakfast so that they would be done fast enough to be able to dress their best  
  
for the long awaited dance/rave at their favourite club in Hogsmead. Ron still couldn't believe they were finally old enough  
  
to be allowed in. "SWEET SIXTEEN HERE WE COME", said Ron, looking very excited.   
  
Harry just smiled and nodded because his mouth was too full of scrambled eggs. Harry once again smiled as he looked around   
  
his table at all the different houses at all the different tables. It was the first time in Hogwart's history that all the   
  
houses had become friends instead of foes and were now part of one huge community where they were all tight as ever. But,   
  
of course, this still wasn't paradise, Harry still had his foes. Draco for one, especially since Draco was currently going  
  
out with a girl who had turned Harry down.  
  
  
  
Harry's last summer with the Dursleys was by far the best summer he had ever had with them. They had been extremely  
  
nice to Harry because they were well aware that the one person he cared about more than any one in the world had just died,  
  
Sirus Black. Oh how Harry missed Sirus. On the other hand, Harry was old enough to move out now, which meant he would no   
  
longer have to live with the Dursleys at all. He, Tanya, Matilda, Jessica and Ron and decided to rent a small house in   
  
Toronto next summer. The girls, who were originally from Toronto, could show them around while they had the time of they're   
  
lives.   
  
  
  
Then, with a sudden jolt back to reality, Harry looked up and saw all the sixth and seventh years making they're  
  
way excitedly towards their dorms. "Hermione!", yelled Harry finally spotting her making out with some new guy, as usual.  
  
"You're coming to the dance aren't you?"  
  
"Hell yeah!" said Hermione, "I'll see you there!"  
  
Once again, Harry was brought back in though about how far apart him, Ron and Hermoine had drifted since their last year at  
  
Hogwarts.   
  
"HEY YOU STUPID MORON!", screamed Jessica in Harry's face, "IF YOU DON'T STOP DAY DREAMING LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME, WE'RE   
  
GOING TO HAVE TO FIND YOU A NICE PHSYCOLOGIST!"  
  
"WHATEVER HOE", harry said jokingly.  
  
"I'm sorry, are you takling about your mother?", said Jessica sacarstically.  
  
"YOU ARE SUCH A GIT!", said Harry, "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DANM GIT?"  
  
Just then, Tanya, and Matlida who were walking by, stopped to listen.  
  
"A git?", said Tanya disbelievingly, "A git? What the hell kind of insult is that? man, Harry, you're worse of than stupid   
  
Malfoy. He goes around calling people mud bloods like it's supposed to ACTUALLY hurt our feelings. What a nerd. mud blood?   
  
roight.. try shit blood."  
  
Harry went red in the face, "Dont compare me to that stupid fucking bastard okay? Ima go and jump his face with all my people  
  
if i hear him saying any shit about me or my friends."  
  
"That's better" said Matilda, "GIT? gosh, what are we.. in the seventies?"  
  
Then laughing, all three of them made their way towards the Gryffindor common room.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Why are you guys coming here?", said Harry, "Tanya and Matilda, you're in in Slytherine, and Jess, you're in   
  
Ravenclaw".  
  
"Yeah, sorry, we were so in love with you we decided to follow you around the place", said Tanya sarcastically.  
  
"yeah you GIT", said Matilda still laughing.  
  
"oh can u shut up about that alerady?" said Harry looking very exasparated.  
  
"Hermoine's doing my hair so im going to her dorm", said Jessica getting back on topic.  
  
"Yeah, she's doing mine too", said Matilda.  
  
"Oh, I'm just changing in Pavati's room because one of my stupid roomates is this lesbian bitch who keeps staring at my   
  
boobs", said Tanya, quite frankly.  
  
"I stare at everyone's boobs" said ROn, coming out of no where, "and you girls still dont mind being naked in front of me."  
  
"Roight.....", said Matilda, as she made her way up the girls dorm in the Gryffindor common room.  
  
Two hours, and several outfit suggestions later, Matilda, Hermione, Tanya and Jessica emerged out of the dorm into  
  
the common room where the met the guys, including Harry, Ron, Malfoy and his girl(who was only here because Ron was his girlfriend's best  
  
friend, and he was tight with the girls.), Dean Thomas, Colin Farrell, and Dean's best friends Ivey and Abby(who are boht  
  
seventh year Huffelpuff, gay, BOYS).  
  
"Are you ready to PARTEEEEEEEE", said Dean, while doing the universal BLOW JOB sign at Matilda.  
  
"Yeah, sure", said Matilda, "Just not with you."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"I'm just kidding you stupid dork"  
  
"Ohh, so you do wanna.. you know"  
  
"uhh.. NO"  
  
"CAN WE LEAVE YOU STUPID FUCKERS?", said Jessica, looking frustrated.  
  
"Lets go", said Ron.  
  
And all 12 of them left the caslte together, along with the rest of they're sixth and seventh year crew. They still   
  
about 2 hours before the dance officially started, so they all decided to check out a new movie. So, after two hours, three   
  
pop corn bags and one HELL of a time watching "American Wedding", they finally made their way towards the famous "XTC club"   
  
in Hogsmead. 


	2. The Partae

"Awsome!!", said Ron as he walked in, "this place rocks!"  
  
and sure enough, the club was booming with some nas tunes, loud and clear. the entire place  
  
was dark with the only lights coming from the giant disco ball above and from the light up  
  
tiles on the floor.   
  
Tanya and Matilda ran onto the dance floor to meet Corissa and courtney, they're bestessst   
  
hufflepuff friends. They all started dancing... soon followed by the rest of the crew who   
  
wasted no time getting on that dance floor. Then all of a sudden, Corissa spotted Draco (aka Dre)  
  
"OHMYGOD!", she screamed, "IS THE THE HOTTEST GUY EVER OR WHAT?"  
  
"yeah, he's fooooiiinnnnneee alright, but soooo taken", said tanya staring at him.  
  
"taken? you call that bitch panzee parkenson a threat? watch me get that boy", said matilda  
  
smirking.   
  
Matilda walked over to Dre and Panzee and started dancing in front of them.   
  
"HI", she said, trying to look cool.  
  
"sup?" said dre  
  
"Uhh.. we're busy...", said panzee staring at matilda  
  
"sorry? doing what?"  
  
"cant you see we're dancing??", screamed panzee  
  
"you call that dancing? watch me"  
  
Matlda .. with her obvious talent for kick ass grinding started showing Panzee what dancing  
  
was all about. which automatically shut the girl up. Panzee ran into the girls washroom  
  
looking very upset. Dre started to run after her.. but then looked over at matilda.  
  
"forget her", he said smiling at matilda.  
  
Tanya, COrissa and Courtney, who were watching the whole thing, smiled as they saw  
  
matilda and draco dancing.   
  
"Now that that's settled", said Courtney, "Where's Dean? I wanna show him what I GOT"  
  
and laughing she walked away into the crowd.  
  
Now Tanya decided to go get some punch, which left corissa all alone.  
  
all of a sudden she felt a pat on her back.  
  
"HI", said Hermoine  
  
"wasup?", said corissa  
  
"I want u to tell your little friend Tanya to stay away from Harry because he's my man and  
  
there's no WAY in hell that she can have him", said hermoine  
  
"too late hoe.. she already has him... not like you woulda had a chance any ways. besides,   
  
wut do u need harry for? you're already haveing sex with every guy in the castle.", said  
  
corissa smiling  
  
"fuck you bitch, i tried to warn you, now i WILL take that girl down if she goes near my man"  
  
"take her down? fuck yourself, the only thing you can take down is your own dignity", screamed  
  
corissa.  
  
"watch your back", said hermoine leaving in a sudden hurry.  
  
"Hey harry!!", said hermoine making her way over to him.  
  
"Hi!", said harry giving her a quick hug.  
  
"Harry, i was thinking.. we've been friends for so long.. and.."  
  
"HAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHERE WERE YOU? I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU   
  
ALL OVER!", tanya yelled, cutting hermione off.  
  
hermoine just stood there and stared at her as harry gave her a hug.  
  
"ohh i was looking for you too", said harry, "wanna dance?"  
  
"Uhh.. im kinda tired", said tanya, ".. do you wanna get out of here and go somewhere quite?"  
  
so hermione just stared as tanya and harry walked out of the club.  
  
This time, it was hermoine who felt a pat on her back. it was neville longbottom.  
  
"HI HERMOINE!", he said, over enthusiastically.  
  
"hey", she said, looking thoroughly bored  
  
"wanna dance?" said neville  
  
"no", said hermoine and walked away frm his now very red face.  
  
"what am i gonna do?" hermoine thought. "will i ever be with harry????"  
  
PLEASE REVIEW 


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